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Thread: "Damn you, Commons!" - Helix's lair for Arc-V parody scripts

  1. #161
    Registered User Pendulum's Avatar
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    That ending with movie pics started to get a bit annoying at some point.

    Aaah! So that's why Kite walked away!

    They worship Smile World so much...

    Aaaahh, I was missing Dennis MacField!

    Dennis: YES! AND WE EVEN BECAME BEST FRIENDS! SHE IS OF A STUNNING BEAUTY! But maybe she is a bit too young for you, heh, Professor? *Winks*
    Oh god ahahah!

    Oh... I can't even imagine the fun... Well, Show must go on!

    He uses a D/D Deck.
    Aster (Sweating): T-Two Ds..?
    Leo: I believe he also has D/D/D cards.
    Aster (Sweating even more): T-T-Three Ds..? I-I’ll do my best, Professor.
    HAHAHAHAHohohohoH!! Hilarious!!

    Academia Teacher: Very well, I’ll inform Mr. Roger at once.
    Come on!! Hahah, I was curious to see who that new Secretary was! Nice! Very nice!

    Aster: N--Now, now… There is no need to be so formal about it… Please never raise your arms that way again… It’s already awkward enough that we’re currently planning to commit mass interdimensional genocide…
    Subtle, I like it, very well.

    This one was a bit different from the usual. You focused more in parodying the series more than following the same structure as the episode. I approve the creativity. Keep it up!

  2. #162
    Registered User HelixReactor's Avatar
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    Episode 108

    Woops, sorry for the very late response... >.<

    Yeah, the last script ended up being more of a silly "Origins" story than an actual parody of the corresponding episode >.<

    In any case, I'm glad you liked it ^_^

    And I hope you'll all enjoy what's coming next ^_^

    But first, a little warning: This episode contains high amounts of weirdness. Like, really, really high amount of weirdness. Please proceed with the utmost coution.


    Narrator: Previously, on Yu-Gi-Oh! ZeArc:

    Allen: Let’s show them the power of the Resistance, Sayaka! I’ll be using my Train Deck!

    Sayaka: And I use my… Fairy Cheer Girl Deck..? So I’m the very thing I hated the most now, huh..?

    Allen: Why must you ruin everything, Sayaka?!

    (Intense close-up on the backgroud)

    Kyubey: /人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\

    Narrator: Also Sawatari and Gongenzaka show up right before Sayaka gets the punishment she deserves (Allen is cool though). Anyway, back the episode.

    (Opening sequence)

    (The episode starts about 5 minutes after the end of episode 107, with Sawatari and Gongenzaka violently falling on the ground)

    Gongenzaka: I can’t believe that, I, OTOKO GONGENZAKA, lost against the people of Academia…

    Sawatari: Wait, how did we lose again?

    Gongenzaka: Huh?... I don’t know… Did we even Duel against you guys?

    Grace: Don’t underestimate the power of us, the Tyler Sisters. Once we start Dueling against people off-screen, they automatically lose.

    Gongenzaka: But… That’s how we do things as well…

    Grace: Maybe. But our off-screen power is stronger than yours. It’s a good thing the Synchro arc took forever to end, otherwise, whatever was remaining of the Resistance may have had the chance to take us down.

    Gloria: Enough talking with those weaklings, Grace. Off-screen or not, we will always crush our enemies. Now let us put an end to this nonsense.

    (Gloria turns on her Duel Disk’s Cardifier and uses it against Gongenzaka. The cardifying ray hits him, but nothing happens.)

    Gloria: W-what is the meaning of this?! (Attempts to cardify Gongenzaka again and fails)

    Grace: Let me try. (Attempts to cardify Gengenzaka too, but also fails) T-That doesn’t make any sense!!

    Gogenzaka (Standing back up and laughing): Can’t you understand? I, OTOKO GONGENZAKA, am too manly to get turned into a vulgar trading card!

    Grace (Panicked): Sis! It’s not working on that other guy either!

    Sawatari: Hahahaha! How does it feel to have your secret weapon suddenly becoming obsolete! I am Atarashii Nouveau Neo Naee Neu New Nuevo Sawatari Shingo MK VII Revision 2. 2.1, and simply attempting to print my name will make your Duel Disk run out of Soul Ink!

    Gloria: I-I refuse to believe that! This must be the work of the Clover Branch of the Resistance! After all, they’re the ones who managed to recreate the Cardifiers for themselves, so maybe they have also recently found a way to prevent being cardified at all!

    Grace: Damn you, Clovers!

    Gloria: No… There must be something else behind this… But what…?

    (Yuya and Shun arrive)

    Yuya: Hey guys, sorry for the wait!

    Shun: Can we have our plot armors back now? I kinda feel naked without it…

    Gongenzaka: Oh, sure. There you go.

    (Gogenzaka and Sawatari respectively transfer back their plot armors to Yuya and Shun)

    Yuya: Thanks! I’m not sure what I would do without this. ...Huh, it feels a bit loose…

    Shun: Ugh. Mine is all covered in Shingo…

    Sawatari: Hey! That’s mean…

    Shun: Come to think of it, ever since I borrowed your Pendulum cards the other day, I’ve started losing some pretty important Duels…

    Gongenzaka: And I’m the one who passed you those cards back then… Have I also been Shingo’d in the process…?

    Gloria: *Ahem* You’ll discuss your silly matters some other time, okay?

    Grace: That is, if you manage to survive until then.

    Gloria: Indeed. Our mission is to take down the Lancers. And as much as we enjoy murdering innocent people, I’m not in the mood to wait for you to finish your aimless rambling.

    Grace: We’re trying to act seriously here, so please try to put some motivation into the subject on your side too.

    Yuya: Sorry! We just got a bit distracted. It happens a lot here; you’ll eventually get used to it too.

    Gloria: In any case, shall we begin our Tag Due--

    Shun: Hey! I just noticed!

    Gloria: *Sigh* … What is it now?!

    Shun: You two look a lot like each other!

    Gloria: Of course we do. We’re twin sis--

    Shun: Which one’s the Ruri?!

    Grace: Which one’s the what now?

    Shun: Oh. You don’t know what a Ruri is. I guess you’re the Yuzu, then. (To Gloria) You do know what a Ruri is, right?

    Grace: How am I supposed to know?!

    Shun: But… That would make you a Yuzu too…But then… Where is she… Where’s… RURIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

    Grace: *Sigh* … Dare I ask what’s up with him?

    Yuya: Don’t mind him. It’s just his quirk. Everybody has one here. Mine is--

    Grace: I don’t want to know…

    Yuya: Huh. I wonder what Kaito’s is..?

    Kaito (Shouting in the distance): CIPHER INTERFERE!!!

    Yuya: Thanks Kaito! It’s a shame the episodes featuring were skipped; I really wanted to see it in action. Anyway, where were we?

    Gloria: The Duel… Please?

    Shun: I don’t like you, you know that?

    Gloria: Trust me, I don’t like you either..

    Shun: You must be the Serena, huh?

    Gloria: What is that even supposed to mean?!

    Shun: I bet you can’t even act cute.

    Gloria: What?! Of course I can! (Attempts to make a kitty face, but fails)

    Shun: Ha! I knew it!

    Gloria: Why you little…

    Grace: Silly big sis; you shouldn’t let yourself get taunted this easily by the enemy.

    Gloria (Takes a deep breath): You’re right, Grace. Okay guys, I understand that you don’t want to get carded, but on our side, we really, really need to Duel you. I don’t recall the Professor explicitely ordering us to card you, so how about: even if you end up losing this Duel, we promise we won’t card you.

    Yuya: Well, we’ve already established our plot armors prevent us from getting carded anyway.

    Gloria (Takes a deeper breath): Okay, we promise not to card the rest of your little group, then!

    Shun: Even Sayaka?

    Gloria: Yes. Even Sayaka.

    Shun: But she’s partly responsible for Ruri’s kidnapping! I demand that she gets carded if we lose!

    Gloria: Sure. We can even card her right now, if you want…

    Shun: Nah, that wouldn’t be fair.

    Gloria: Fine… Can we finally have our Duel now?

    Yuya: I have no objections. What about you, Shun?

    Shun: Heh. We’ve got nothing better to do anyway.

    Grace: We do. So let’s begin!

    (A few turns later)

    Shun: Hey, Yuya, can I borrow your Pendulum Scales?

    Yuya: You don’t need to ask me. This is a Tag Duel, so even if I’m the one setting the Scales, you can still use them as your own.

    Shun: Yeah, but I really want to have the scales on my Duel Disk.

    Yuya: Is there any reason for that?


    Yuya: You just want to Shingo me, don’t you?!

    Grace: This again?!

    Gloria (Crying): Guys… Please…

    Yuya: We’re lost in the middle of nowhere, so one of us at least must stay healthy to properly fight Academia!

    Gongenzaka: To be fair, you’re the first one here to get infected, the day Shingo snatched your two Magician and gave you a huge pile of cards in return. And you probably still have Block Spider in your Deck.


    Grace: I’ve never seen such unfocused storytelling…

    Sawatari: Hey! How dare insult our writer?! His texts are always absolute masterpieces! The characters he creates may be quirky, but it’s to make them even further lovable by his passionate readers! And the movies he produces are always highly praised by critics!

    Grace: If you say so… Sis, I don’t feel like Dueling against these guys anymore… Isn’t the Commander-in-Chief currently here? Maybe he’d want to fight these guys instead of us?

    Gloria: I was thinking about that too… (Turns on the Phone App of her Duel Disk) … … Hey Aster, can you please come and help us with--

    Aster: Smile World…. Smile World… SMILE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD!!! D:

    Grace: … Let’s just tell the Professor that we failed our mission…

    Gloria: I agree…

    (Tyler Sisters warp away)

    Shun: Hey! Come back here, you Fusion Scum! You still haven’t told me which one of you was the Ruri!

    Gongenzaka: The Tyler Sisters… Truly they were quite the remarkable foes…

    Sawatari: Not only they almost wiped out our entire team, but they also had the guts to insult our writer! Speaking of him, man, I can’t wait to go back to Standard to watch the sequel of his greatest movie to date; surely his adaptation of Book Two: Earth is going to be amazing!

    (Just as disappointing Ending sequence)

  3. #163
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    I absolutely loved the meta humor in this one. The plot armor gag, shitting on Shingo, Kaito (shouting in the distance), and the absolutely perfect Shun.

    I feel like Edo could have had a few more lines, maybe. Nothing major, just stuff like:

    SAKAKI YUSHO (optional: NO MUSUKO)

  4. #164
    Registered User Pendulum's Avatar
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    Grace: Don’t underestimate the power of us, the Tyler Sisters. Once we start Dueling against people off-screen, they automatically lose.

    Gongenzaka: But… That’s how we do things as well…
    Academia has gained control of the power of the Lancers!

    Gogenzaka (Standing back up and laughing): Can’t you understand? I, OTOKO GONGENZAKA, am too manly to get turned into a vulgar trading card!
    This just reminds me of Hagrid taking all of those spells without a scratch, since he is a
    Spoiler Alert!
    half-giant. Hey, it's a spoiler!

    Grace: Damn you, Clovers!
    The new slogan. It's there, it's there.

    That plot armor part is very comical.

    Yuya: You just want to Shingo me, don’t you?!
    No ones likes Shingo! Me included. Very comical.

    I liked this one as well, Helix! I can always have a good laugh. Waiting for the next one.

    Quote Originally Posted by iNfiniTe Se7eNz View Post
    I absolutely loved the meta humor in this one. The plot armor gag, shitting on Shingo, Kaito (shouting in the distance), and the absolutely perfect Shun.
    Very well said. The plot armor part especially. Very very comical.

  5. #165
    Registered User HelixReactor's Avatar
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    I'm glad you guys like it! ^_^

    I was afraid things went a bit too sillily this time for anyone's taste >.<

  6. #166
    Registered User HelixReactor's Avatar
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    Episode 109

    Episode 109 is here!

    ...I couldn't think of an introduction <.<

    In any case, I hope you'll enjoy the read ^_^


    Narrator: Previously, on Yu-Gi-Oh! ZeArc:

    Yuya: I activate Super Flashy and Colorful Card #1! Then I activate Super Flashy and Colorful Card #2! And now I… Hey, where did the Tyler Sisters go?!

    (Shun, wearing his sunglasses, points to the Tyler Sisters laying on the ground and convulsing violently)

    Narrator: Back to the episode.

    (The episode starts with the Obelisk Force people standing dramatically in front of Yuya and Shun)

    Shun: It’s you again…

    Obelisk Force #1: No need to act so surprised.

    Obelisk Force #2: We’ve been pretty much everywhere lately, really.

    Obelisk Force #3: And today, the Professor ordered us to come to the Xyz Dimension to defeat you once and for all.

    Shun: … … Ha! Hahahahahahaha! You heard that, Yuya? They want to eliminate us… again! Guys, you’ve been trying that for quite some time now. You might want to give up and move on to something else! Man, I can’t wait to Revolution Air Raid the hell out of you again! Hahahahaha!

    Yuya: Didn’t Shingo have to intervene and help you during the one time you got to face these guys?

    Shun: Hahahahahaha...haha… ha… I’m gonna die today, huh?

    (Opening Sequence)

    Obelisk Force #1: Let us not waste any more time. How about we have a Tag Duel today?

    Yuya: Huh? Why not a Battle Royale?

    Obelisk Force #2: Because we want to quickly bring out Chaos Gi--(gets silenced by Obelisk Force #3)

    Yuya: Heh, sure, why not? But how are we going to be having our turns if there’s going to be one too many people in your team? Shouldn’t one of you sit this Duel out?

    Obelisk Force #1: Huh? What do you mean by “sitting this Duel out”?

    Obelisk Force #2: Like… Only two of us get to Duel?!

    Obelisk Force #3: But we wouldn’t know what to do, then!! We only know how to play the game when all three of us Duel at the same time!!

    Yuya: *Sigh* Fine fine, all three of you can join in… But we still need to organize our turns fairly.

    Obelisk Force #1: We’ll let the Deputy Commander decide how things will go. Mr. Noro, please make yourself relevant for once.

    Mamoru: I’m in this episode!

    Obelisk Force #2: Good for you… I suppose?

    Obelisk Force #3: *Sigh* I’ll do this: All three of us will start, then Bird Guy can play, then we all three of us have our turns again, then Tomato Guy can play, and then we go back to all three of us having our turns again. What do you think of this?

    Yuya: That’s not how a Tag Duel works! You aren’t supposed to be having your turns in sequen--

    Shun: We agree!

    Yuya: But Shun…!

    Shun: Tag Duel rules randomly change all the time anyway! Let’s do this, Yuya!


    Obelisk Force #1: Then I shall have the first turn. I start with--

    Shun: Wait, hold on!

    Obelisk Force #1: Huh? What’s the matter?


    (Shun stands silently still for a handful of minutes)

    Obelisk Force #1: Hum… What are we waiting for exactly?

    Shun: People usually like to butt in our Duels whenever you guys are involved. I thought we could just give them some time to arrive.

    Obelisk Force #2: That’s not our business..

    Shun: In the end, it doesn’t really matter, since whoever’s side gets an Intrusion Penalty is more prone to win.

    Obelisk Force #3: So why are you waiting for anyone to arrive, then?

    Shun: It’s just not nice to let people willingly electrocute themselves.

    Obelisk Force #1: We don’t care. Anyway, I start with--

    Shun: Speaking of the Intrusion Penalties: Have you noticed that the Duel Disks’ voiceman is exactly the same regardless of which dimension said Duel Disks are coming from?

    Obelisk Force #2: Yeah. So what?

    Shun: I wonder if it’s not just lazy voice actor recycling… What if that production choice had a much deeper meaning. What if… the Duel Disk Voiceman is the key to the plot?!

    (Meanwhile, in a parallel universe)

    Duel Disk Voiceman: He knows too much…

    ZeXal’s “AR Vision: Link established” voicewoman: Sir, someone in the Standard Dimension is about to interfere in a Duel.

    Duel Disk Voiceman: I’ll take care of that! (Turns on his microphone) Intrusion Penalty: 2000 Points! ♪

    (Meanwhile, back in Heartbrokenland)

    Obelisk Force #3 (To Yuya): I know you were probably very recently asked this, but what’s up with him?

    Yuya: It’s the Xyz Dimension effect; everybody’s personalities suddenly become subpar…

    Shun: We’re already halfway through the episode and nothing happened yet. I guess nobody’s coming today, then. Okay, good sirs, you way proceed.

    Obelisk Force #1: Finally! Well then, I start by--

    Shun: Summoning an Ancient Gear Hound Doggie. You’ll probably set a few cards face-down an end you turn. Then you (Points at Obelisk Force #2) will clap your hands a magically have a Double Hound Doggie on your field, using Doggie over there as one of the Materials. And finally, you (Points at Obelisk Force #3) will Fusion Summon a Triple Hound Doggie using the three Doggies in your hand as Materials.

    Obelisk Force #1:

    Obelisk Force #2: … …

    Obelisk Force #3: … … … How did you know--

    Shun: You so-called elite of Academia have a strategy as Ancient as your Gears! Come to think of it, your Gears don’t even look that Ancient! How about we call them Modern Gears from now on?

    Obelisk Force #1: … Sure…

    Shun: I’m bored. I wanna see something different from you guys. Maybe if I skip my turn I may get to see at least one of the 33 remaining cards in your Deck. What do you think, Yuya?

    Yuya: But…!

    Shun: Yeah, that wouldn’t be very fair… Then it’s decided: Yuya, you’ll skip your turn too!

    Yuya: But, Shun…!

    Obelisk Force #2: Meanwhile, here, we’ve already Summoned…

    Shun: Oh noes! It’s… the Futuristic Gear Chaos Giant! It’s bringing back memories of… of...

    Obelisk Force #3: Of the day Academia invaded your world?

    Shun: No, it’s something worse, much worse. It’s… it’s…

    Dennis (Suddenly appearing out of nowhere): DENNIS!

    Shun: Yeah, that. You’ve ruined my first on-screen Riding Duel!

    Dennis: Did I truly ruin it? I personally think I just made it a bit more... FABULOUS!~~

    Obelisk Force #1: Headchief, please calm down…

    Obelisk Force #2: Your episode is only going to be up in three weeks.

    Dennis: Aww.. Did I get the date wrong..? Oh well. I’ll see you later then! I hope you enjoyed the Ending Sequence I’ve recently made! Bye~~ (Warps away)

    Shun: Anyway, where were we..? Oh yeah, Chaos Giant… Quick Yuya, do something about it!

    Yuya: And how do you expect me to do that?!

    Shun: I dunno. Run around and collect Action Cards? We keep activating Crossover, so might as well make use of it. Whatever card you pick is going to be Evasion, Miracle, or Great Escape anyway.

    (A few turns later)

    Shun: Ugh… This isn’t going well at all… Yuya, you’re a terrible Tag Duel partner! I’ll never play with you again, hmpf!

    Yuya: Trust me, at this rate, you won’t be playing with anyone anytime soon…

    Shun: I guess this is the end for me, then… But I do not intend to lose this Duel nevertheless! Yuya! I shall sacrifice myself so that our team can win!

    Yuya: Shun, no!

    Shun: I was waiting for the day I can play again with Yuto for real to use this card, but it seems I have no choice.

    Yuya: No no no!

    Shun: I activate Devoted Love!

    Yuya: SHUN, NO! This is a Tag Duel where we share our Life Points!

    Shun: Oh…

    Yuya: Also I cannot be considered your opponent here, so they’ll be the ones to draw a card!

    Shun: Oh… … Allen, that card you gave me is awful!

    Allen: (Too unconscious to answer)

    Shun: It’s okay, it’s okay, I can fix this… Here! It’s a good thing I’ve already set this Counter Trap that allows me to negate my own card effects… at the cost of turning my Life Points to 1. See? Everything’s fixed!

    Yuya: Is that so? Since you negated your card, their Battle Phase is still going on!

    Shun: Nothing really satisfies you, huh?!

    Obelisk Force #1: Let’s put an end to this. Go, Ancient Gear--

    Shun: Futuristic Gear.

    Obelisk Force #1: FINE! Futuristic Gear Chaos Golem! Direct Attack!

    Shun: Welp. The only thing left for me to do is to admit my defeat and take the laser beam head-on. I want my last moments to be positively memorable.

    (Sayaka suddenly wakes up from her slumber)

    Sayaka: I’ll save you, Shun!

    (Sayaka rushes into the middle of the crossfire)

    Sayaka (Crossing her arms): NOOOO. FIGHTING.

    Shun (Facepalming): No! My beautiful final moment…!

    (Shun runs and pushes Sayaka away, and ends up getting hit by Chaos’ Giant attack while being in an awkward position)

    Shun (Out of breath): Goddammit Sayaka… Why must you… ruin everything…

    Obelisk Force #1: Don’t worry. I’ll put an end to your suffering.

    Shun: What a shameful turn of events… Getting carded… by a nameless person…

    Obelisk Force #1: Well I can always remove my helmet if you want?

    Shun: Please don’t…

    Obelisk Force #1: Very well then.

    (Obelisk Force #1 raises his Duel Disk)

    Obelisk Force #1: Huh. That’s weird. My Cardifer isn’t working..

    Obelisk Force #2: Oh? Yours too?

    Obelisk Force #1: Wait, you knew that the Cardifiers weren’t working at the moment?

    Obelisk Force #3: Yeah, their security certificates expired two days ago. And our Duel Disks don’t allow us to overlook that issue, so nobody’s been able to turn the Cardifiers back on since.

    Obelisk Force #1: Why didn’t you guys tell me?! Is the Professor even aware of this problem? And what should we do about these guys for now?

    Obelisk Force #2: Well, the Professor only explictely asked us to defeat the Lancers, and we just did that.

    Obelisk Force #3: So let’s just call it a day!

    Obelisk Force #1: Sounds good to me!

    (Obelisk Force people warp away)

    Yuya: Well, that didn’t end up as badly as I thought… But still, everyone except me in this area is very heavily injured now! There must be some healing facility nearby…

    Sayaka: We’ve got a nurse office in our hideout. It’s the one medical facility left functional in this world. It has a hospital bed and all. But...

    Yuya: But what? What are we waiting for? Let’s go there at once!

    Sayaka: It’s no use.. Nobody is allowed to go there. It has been booked by the Kamishiro Siblings for all eternity…

    (End of the episode)

  7. #167
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    Security certificate expiration made the script.

  8. #168
    Registered User HelixReactor's Avatar
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    In more ways than one; it was one of the first jokes I had in mind when deciding to write this script >.<

    In any case, I'm glad you liked it ^_^

  9. #169
    Registered User DelCtrl's Avatar
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    First: DENNIS!!!!

    Shun is being pretty stubborn this episode, I like it.
    The security certificate was golden! You know what else was golden? Sayaka
    I don't post a lot, but I read everything in this forum. EVERYTHING.
    Current Decks: Red-Eyes | RaidRaptors | D/D/D | Generic Wyrm | Dark Doriado

  10. #170
    Registered User HelixReactor's Avatar
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    Hehehe ^_^

    Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!



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