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Thread: "Damn you, Commons!" - Helix's lair for Arc-V parody scripts

  1. #221
    Registered User HelixReactor's Avatar
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    Episode 146

    The end is coming near. Here's what will most likely be the final script of the Arc-V era.

    I hope you'll enjoy the read ^_^


    Narrator: Previously, on Yu-Gi-Oh! Rushed V:

    Shun: Bring me back my big sis!!

    Leo: I’m sorry, she can’t be brought back… I should’ve thought of my daughter’s pieces as actual human beings before I start this ridiculously convoluted plan…

    Shun: I instantly forgive you.

    Leo: Oh, really? Well, I don’t know I can make up for all of this, but--

    Shun (Suddenly grabbing Leo by his throat): Silly Leo. Do you really think you can take away my big sis from me, and get away with it this easily? … Leo? Are you still listening to me? … Whoops, I may have accidentally snapped his neck. Did ya see that, big sis?

    Everyone else:

    Shun: … I made myself sad…

    Narrator: Back to the episode.

    (Episode starts with Jack Atlus being Jack Atlus)

    Jack: SAKAKI YUYA!!

    Edo (from the other side of the portal): SUMAIRU WALDO!!

    Yuya: … Can we continue this discussion somewhere else, or at least quiet it down?

    Jack: Nonsense! I, JACK ATLUS, never keep my discussions a secret from anyone! I, JACK ATLUS, do not have an indoor voice for that anyway! ‘tis the only thing that I, JACK ATLUS, do not possess!

    Yuya: Okay. So what do you want?

    Jack: SAKAKI YU--

    Yuya: Okay, I get that part.

    Jack: I, JACK ATLUS. challenge you to a Riding Duel!

    Yuya: Sorry, not interested.

    Jack: What?! How dare you?! You can’t refuse my challenge! You are the King!!

    Yuya: I’m fairly certain that title stopped having any meaning by the end of the Synchro Arc. And even if I still was the King, I just refused your challenge, so that makes you the King now. Aren’t you happy?

    Jack: … Oh. Okay then. See ya later, bye!

    (Opening sequence, suddenly interrupted by Jack)

    Jack: Hold on a second! This isn’t what I came here for!!

    Yuya: Dude, I have no reason to Duel you right now. I’m doing a Lancers Tour. And I’m only doing it because Reiji told me so. For that matter, I don’t really get the reason behind it, but I trust Reiji to know what’s going on here.

    Reiji (looking away): Hum… Sure… Let me check the plan again…

    (Reiji turns on his Duel Disk and reads the plan)

    1)Take care of baby Reira, even though it’s technically just baby Z-Arc, because Reira expelled his own soul when assimilating Z-Arc’s.
    2)Have Yuya Duel all of the Lancers, even though Serena is missing. (Note: Should Reira also count in this one?)
    3)Bring smile to baby Z-Arc, because that’ll apparently bring Reira back (Notes: If Reira is brought back, what happens to Z-Arc’s soul? If Reira is brought back, does he turn into his normal age again? If baby Z-Arc makes a psychotic smile, will it be enough to bring back Reira, or will it permanently prevent Reira from coming back? Does bringing back Reira’s smile also bring back the rest of his emotions?)

    Reiji (mumbling to himself): This is ridiculous… Who wrote this...?

    Leo (in a questionably alive state): I love you, son...

    Yuya: So, either you give me a good reason to Duel you, or I’ll be going back home.

    Jack: With this attitude of yours, you’re not going to save anyone!

    Yuya: I’m just following the plan here…

    Jack: I’m not talking about that! I’m talking about your fear of using your dragons!

    Yuya: What are you talking about? I’ve been using Odd-Eyes all this time!

    Jack: Oh… But… Yeah! Your others dragons! You’re afraid of using those, right?!

    Yuya: I don’t have other dragons!

    (Pendulum starts swinging)

    Yuya: Or maybe I do, now? Is there something else I should know? How do I make this thing recover all of my memories at once? Why did I have to forget everything to begin with anyway?! In any case, I’m not afraid of using the other dragons.

    Jack: Prove it, then!

    Yuya: Sure. My next Duel should be with Reiji, so if you’d like to come with me--

    Jack (slamming his leg on the ground like a spoiled brat): But… I want you to Duel again meeee!

    Yuya: Okay, fine! But I don’t have a D-Wheel, so it’ll just be regular Action Due--

    Jack: Don’t worry! I’ve brought your D-Wheel with me!!

    Yuya: Huh? But how?! Didn’t I leave that thing in the middle of the road…? Ugh. It doesn’t matter, let’s get this over with quickly… So, where do you want us to do this?

    Jack: Come with me! (Rides into the portal)

    (Yuya follows Jack into the portal)

    Jack: We’ll be doing this, here! In this Dimensional Highway!


    Jack: … What?

    Yuya: … Nevermind me.

    Jack: Okay then…

    Yuya: Something’s bothering me though, about this whole place...Because of Arc-V, there’s a single portal to other dimensions in every world, but the “highway” itself is completely straightforward. So how come we always get to a different - and to the right one, for that matter - if we’re always following the same route?

    Jack: I dunno. Thinking makes my head hurt. All I want right now is to Duel you!

    Melissa: People of the Shiti, and the whole world, good afternoon! It is I, Melissa Claire! And I’m gonna miss you all so much very soon....

    Yuya: Ugh… Why is she here?

    Melissa: Today we’re broadcasting all around the worlds a Riding Duel in one of the most unusual fields!

    Yuya: Does it really need to be a Riding Duel? I mean, the whole “highway” is really just a five minute walk…

    Melissa: It’ll be a rematch between our Friendship Cup Finalists: Sakaki Yuya, aaaand… Jack Atlus! The winner becomes the King of the new united world!

    Yuya: And the loser gets thrown into the sun, right?

    Melissa: Uhm… What?

    Yuya: Nothing~~

    Melissa: … … This is an amazing idea!!

    Yuya: … Right, I forgot you Synchro Dimension folks are completely nuts…

    Melissa: Now then, without further ado! Riding Duel: Acceleration!

    Reiji (carefully watching the Duel): It’s a good thing I’ve installed cameras all over the dimensional void. Huh… I wonder how I did that…?

    Sora: It’s nice to be able to watch a Duel between Yuya and Jack, since we had to skip on that during the Synchro Arc, isn’t that right, Shun? … Shun?

    (Shun wasn’t watching the Duel. Instead, he was just scrolling through an photo album on his Duel Disk.)

    Sora: Shun, what are you doing?

    Shun: Just looking at pictures of me and my big sis when we were still babies.

    Sora: Shun, how many times do we have to tell you that you’ve never actually spent any time with Ruri when you were a child… (Glances at Shun’s Duel Disk) Shun, those are all fanart.

    Shun: Yeah, I know. It’s a very welcome change from all the brainwashed Ruri pics I had to go through back during the Doktor’s subplot… You sick bastards…

    Asuka: You must understand that the Professor needed to find back his daughter at all costs…

    Shun: Shut up, and let me enjoy myself, for once!

    Sora: Asuka, what’s with your sudden change of heart over the Professor?

    Shun: More importantly: Why are you even here? You add nothing to the story!

    Asuka: I dunno. I’ve been told I had certain assets that would hopefully distract the viewers from all the incoherences in the current plot. I’m not sure what they’ve meant by that.

    (Meanwhile, back to the Duel)

    Jack: Yuya! Why aren’t you Summoning your dragons yet?!

    Yuya: Oh, I don’t know, Jack! Could it possibly be because of those floodgate cards you have on your side of the field?

    Jack: That’s the point, Yuya! In order to overcome your fears, you need to find a way to go around my cards’ effects!

    Yuya: Huh. That’s actually pretty deep, coming from you. But I’ll pass. The cards I have in my hand should be more than enough to defeat you.

    Jack: Use your goddamn dragons, Yuya!!

    Yuya: Ugh.., Fine, fine… (Picks up an Action Card and activates it without even looking at it) Action Magic: Lazy Cyclone. Now your floodgate cards are destroyed, or whatever.

    Jack: Yuya… That’s just Evasion…

    Yuya: As if anyone cares.

    (Jack’s cards get destroyed anyway)

    (Yuya’s pendant starts swinging)

    (Yuya suddenly finds himself in a completely blank world)

    Yuya: H-Huh? Where am I…?


    Yuya: Oh. I must be inside my own head. Hi, Yuto.

    Yugo: Ugh… Isn’t there a way to make him shut up…? And him! (points at Yuri) Why is he here? Why did you invite him?!

    Yuya: I should be the one asking questions here! Besides, it doesn’t look like Yuri’s planning to do any harm.

    (It looked like Yuri was scribbling something on a notebook.)

    Yugo: Oh? What are you writing? Lemme see. (Snatches the notebook out of Yuri’s hands)

    Yuri (tearing up): H-Hey…!

    Yugo: Hmm? What is this? Are you making a comic book? Hey, is this… us? Are you making a story about us?

    Yuri: (Nods head timidly)

    Yugo: Let’s see here… Genesis Omega Dragon… Adam Factor.... Eve Factor… You know, you really need to stop making up terms like that, if you’re not going to bother explaining them. Also, the whole thing feels really rushed.

    Yuri: Hey…

    Yugo: It’s okay, you’re still new at this. Here, I’ll help you out. (Sits down next to Yuri.)

    Yuya: Looks like the beginning of a new fiendship. (Suddenly finds himself back in the real world) Well that lead absolutely nowhere! Still, now that Jack’s cards are gone, I can…

    (Yuya summons all of the Dimensional Dragons)

    Jack: That’s right, Yuya! You finally did it! But now, it’s my turn to bring out my strongest cards! Synchro Summon! Come, Level 12, Unimpressive Nova Dragon!!

    Yuya: … Why “Unimpressive”..?

    Jack: Well everyone has a lame Level/Rank 12 upgrade of their ace now! I, JACK ATLUS, will not fall behind on that trend!

    Yuya: If you say so… In any case, time to use that broken Starve Venom/Clear Wing Combo! Starve Venom, you’ll bring back Reira’s smile, right?

    Starve Venom: I promise nothiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing! D:

    (Jack’s Life Points fall down to 0)

    (Jack falls off the route)


    Jack: Don’t look down on me, Yuya! Now, keep driving until you’ve reached your next challenge!

    Yuya: Never! I’ll save you, Jack! Quick, Starve Venom!

    Starve Venom: I’m on it!

    (Starve Venom flies in the direction of the exit)

    Yuya: H-Huh? Wait, where are you going that way? Jack’s right here…!

    Starve Venom (coming back): It’s just that I had a better idea~~

    Melissa (trapped inside one of Strave Venom’s flower-thingies): L-Let me go immediately! I’m a very important TV personality, you know?

    Starve Venom: Okay!

    (Starve Venom throws Melissa into the Dimensional Void, which for some reason triggers an explosion strong enough to eject Jack back into the lane.)

    (A little later, in the Pendulum Dimension)

    Reiji: Very well, Yuya. Now that you’ve defeated the rest of the Lancers--

    Yuya: But what about Serena? And does Reira count or…?

    Reiji: Yeah, I dunno about that… The point is that your last remaining available challenger is me, your boss. I have high hopes that this Duel will be far more grandiose than our previous ones. Now, are you ready?

    Yuya: Yes. With this final Duel, I promise to bring back Reira’s smile, and to save Yuzu!

    Reiji: … Wait, didn’t you tell me that Hiragi Yuzu was trapped inside a giant balloon in my father’s lab?

    Yuya: … Oh god, you’re right...! I need to go save her right now! D:

    (End of the episode)

  2. #222
    Registered User Pendulum's Avatar
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    Alright, reply to "Episodes 141-142":
    Hold on, I thought we were done with this one forever.
    I know, right?

    I know. I just want to see you drown while trying to use them.
    Ahahahah what?

    Sayaka: Don’t worry about that, Allen. I fixed them earlier for you so that that sort of accident never happens.

    in case some young girl wants to come over to my place and live there!
    ... Twisted.

    So much mistery. I wonder why too.

    Reira: (Reveals hair)

    Reiji: … That’s it. I’m done here…
    Ahah shock!

    Nakajima: Mister Reiji said we just need to cure her with Egao.

    Himika: That doesn’t make any sense!
    Hey, it seems to work.

    Oh yeah, this isn’t Standard anymore. It’s the Pendulum Dimension now.
    I can only see a facepalm after this.

    Himika: What?! What are we going to do with our school’s Fusion, Synchro, and Xyz classes then?!

    Nakajima: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
    This just went to a whole new level. .. .Again.

    I, OTOKO GONGENZAKA, find that recap episodes are unmanly! But I, OTOKO GONGENZAKA, am under contract. So I, OTOKO GONGENZAKA, will just pretend that everything’s fine…
    Sooo... Pretending is more manly than recapping is unmanly?... I guess?...

    Sawatari: Oh come on, recap episodes aren’t that bad! And we’ll be having fun in another tournament! You guys like tournaments, right? Remember the Friendship Cup?
    This is why Sawatary always loses.

    Well, you’re still here, so I don’t see why I wouldn’t be.

    Duelists locked in battle! Kicking the earth and dancing in the air alongside their monste--
    I actually forgot this was a thing.

    Hey Yuya! Remember that time where Mickey Mouse and that other Rankzanpakuto Duelist beat the hell out of you?

    Hey Tsukikage! Remember when your brother died here?
    Wooooow!! Burned.

    Yuya: Nah, I was more thinking of when he couldn’t stand seeing you being crushed by the Obelisk Force of all people.

    Tsukikage: …
    Yuya still has a piece of Z-Arc; I can see that.

    Ruri (Suddenly punching the Doktor in the face): ORA!
    @UltimateKuriboh, I get these references!

    Yuya: … That never happened…

    Shun: Yeah, but you wish it did! … I wish it did…
    This makes me laugh, seriously. Ahah very good.

    Young Sayaka: *Sigh* I wish I had a sister like that…

    I like Dennis.

    Leo: I don’t get it, everything looks fine on paper…
    *facepalm* So did Arc-V, I guess.

    We call an exorcist?
    It does makes sense.

    Ahah, Helix, it has been so long! Great script! You're still in shape! And I have more to read, I see. Just keep your art up!

  3. #223
    Registered User HelixReactor's Avatar
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    Episode 149

    Glad you liked it, Pendulum! ^_^

    But like you said, there's still more to come :P

    This is it! The final Arc-V script! As always, this one's one episode ahead from the show :P

    I hope you'll enjoy the read, and I hope you'll find this ending to be satisfying ^_^


    Narrator: Previously, on Yu-Gi-Oh! Rushed-V:

    Reiji: Congratulations, Yuya, you passed the protest… Err, I mean, the pro test.

    Yuya: Hurray! I can’t wait to see all of our problems being fixed!

    Gloria: … Why are we here?

    Himika: Reira is still a baby…

    Yuya: But did he Egao?

    Himika: Yes, but that’s not the issue he--

    Yuya: Then I don’t care!

    (Rei Sphere shows up and Yuzu comes out of it)

    Reiji: Hold on a second, where’s Serena?

    Shun: And Ruri?!!

    Amanda: And Rin?!... Wait, do we even know who Rin is?

    Yuya: Who cares? Yuzu’s here!!

    Reiji: The other selves of Yuya didn’t come back either.... (Turns to Leo) This is all your fault, you know!!

    Gloria: Wait, why is he also here?

    Leo (Shrugging): Oh well, these things happen. You can’t have it all, you know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


    Narrator: And then they laughed it off, and everybody had a good time! … Uhm… (Looks through his papers) … Wait, that’s it?! Where’s the rest of it?! (Takes a pen and a blank sheet) Fine, if noone’s gonna bother completing this…

    Gloria: … Okay, seriously, why are we all here?

    (No opening sequence for you today. This is a final episode, remember?)

    Yusho: The show’s not over yet, folks!

    Reiji: I agree. There are still too many things that we need to resolve.

    Yusho: Indeed! You cannot end the series without having a Ceremonial Duel!

    Reiji: Huh? My protest… err, pro test with Yuya was the Ceremonial Duel!

    Yusho: You dare call an exam a Ceremonial Duel? Kids these days make Ceremonial Duels out of everything nowadays…

    Reiji: … Fine. Do you want to have the final Duel of the show?

    Yusho: Of course! Now then, son!

    Yuya: Dad.


    Reiji: Man, I haven’t seen anyone getting this triggered before… Except maybe the audience after episode 148.

    Gloria: Do we really need to stay here? Do we not have anything better to do?

    Gracegao: Nonsense. thee cannot escape from the Egao. Tis futile to resist. Allow it to embrace thee. ♦_♦

    Gloria (Crying): O… Okay.... ;-;

    Yusho: So, son? Are you coming or not?

    Yuya: No. I want to spend some time with Yuzu.

    Yuzu: Yuya…!

    Yuya: Yuzu!

    Yuzu: Yuya!

    Yuya: Yuzu!

    Yuzu: Yuya!

    Sawatari: Oh no! They got the Kotori Syndrome! That stuff’s contagious! Quick! Bring a flamethrower! We must decontaminate the area at once!

    Shun: But my sister’s there…! D’:

    Gongenzaka (Tearing up): Silly Sawatari. You do not understand the beauty of love. Let them have some peace together. Both of them have been through so much. I bet the other selves within them also want to talk to each other after being seperated for so long.

    Yuto: Ruri!!

    Ruri: Come any closer to me, and I’ll show you an even worse fate than dying in death.

    Yugo: Rin!! <3


    Yugo: … Rin? Are you okay?


    Yugo: Oh yeah, I forgot you had very little to no established personality… I’m suddenly feeling not very well… Is that how getting back to my sense after being in love for so long feels like…?

    Serena: So are you gonna pay attention to me or…?

    Yuri (Too busy writing to even bother looking at her): Hey…

    Starve Venom: Don’t bother him. He’s feeling very inspired right now. I’m sure he’s going to come up with a masterpiece! (Sneaks behind Yuri) Wait… I’m a Level 7 now? Why you do this to me, Yuri?!! ;-;

    Yusho: Yeah yeah, this is cute and all, but I don’t care. I’m just here to Duel my son.

    Yuya: Dude, you don’t even remember my name.

    Yusho: What? Of course I do! You’re… Yu... Yu… (Takes out a cheat sheet from his pocket, and mutters to himself) Let’s see, the tomato-looking one is… Yuto!

    Yuya: See?

    Yusho: … Okay, I admit. I just wanted to spend more time with Yuri, but he’s dead now, so you’ll have to do.


    Yusho: I’m sorry that you’re not my favorite son… You’re quite at the bottom of the list, actually...

    Yuya: … … Okay, fine, I’ll Duel you. But I’m only doing it for Yuri!

    Yusho: Perfect! Duelists locked in battle! Kicking the earth and dancing alongside their monter--ouch, my back… Man, my body really isn’t what it used to be… Is this what happens when you do nothing for so long?

    Yuya: So you want to spend more with Yuri, huh? Fine, but you’re gonna have to deal with me too, here! Fusion Summon! Come, Odd-Eyes Venom Dragon!

    Asuka (With gleaming eyes): It’s… so… beautiful!

    Sora: … Did you forget the part where that Dragon’s owner ruthlessly carded you?

    Shun: Seriously, what even is your character?!

    Yusho: *Gasp* How dare you that to my favorite son’s dragon?!

    Yuya: … This is going to be more morally painful than I thought… Anyway, what sorts of special cards are you gonna be using today?

    Yusho: What do you mean?

    Yuya: You know, like Reiji was using cheap knock-offs of previous villains. Although I’m not sure why his fusion ace looked like Yubel. I mean, Yubel wasn’t really much of a Fusion user.

    Reiji: Oh, that wasn’t Yubel. That was Zorc.

    Yuya: That makes even less sense! Wait… If Purplish Armageddon was supposed to be Zorc… Then that dragon it was riding, it was… Oh… Oh god…

    Yusho: A-ha! A distraction! (Picks up an Action Card) Would you look at this! It’s exactly what I needed!

    Yuya: Dad. It always does that unless the plot wants it otherwise. And I’m not gonna let you outrun me in the Action Card race; that’s my specialty! I set on my Pendulum Scale the Scale 1 Performapal Galaxy-Eyes Magician!

    Kaito: [Triggered]

    Yusho: Yeah, not letting you.

    Yuya: H-Huh? B-But why?

    Yusho: Have you seen me? I can barely dance the Action Duel intro; you can’t possibly run across the field picking cards in my shape! Have some respect to your old man, young boy!

    Yuya: Fine, fine. I’ll just use something your favorite son would do against you. Like the Starve Venom/Clear Wing Combo.

    Yusho: Oh, come on… [LP -> 0] You’re not fun at all…

    Yuya: Like father, like son, huh?

    Reiji: Okay, that was interesting and all, but how is that going to fix any of our proble--

    (Sudden explosion)

    (Z-Arc suddenly appears out of nowhere)

    Z-Arc (With Rita Repulsa-quality lip synching and gestures): A-ha! After only a few episodes that really went nowhere, I am free at last! Fools! Did you really think you were gonna get rid of me that easily? I am a god here, you hear me?! (Reiji steps forward) Huh? What do you think you’re doing? H-Hey! You can’t just use the En Words against me like that! For you to do that to a god… How disrespectful! N-No… I’m fading away again… Noooooooooooo! (Vanishes)

    Reiji: Huh. I was hoping the universe would get reset again, and everything would go back to normal, as in, after dad’s first screw up normal.

    Leo: Woops. I guess I’ve broken the very fabric of reality too much for that to happen again. My bad. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Reiji: … … Oh, you… …

    Narrator: And then they laughed it off, and everybody had a good time again! Because if the writers aren’t even gonna bother giving an ending to their own show, why should I?

    Narrator: Up next: INTO ZA VRAINZU!! … Yeah, that sounded dumb. Never make me say it again…

    Gloria: … WHY ARE WE STILL HERE?!!

    (End of the series)

  4. #224
    Registered User Pendulum's Avatar
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    Ok, it has been a while!
    I'll go on a rampage and read the last two of your scripts, @HelixReactor!
    Here goes:

    Classic Shun.

    Jack: Nonsense! I, JACK ATLUS, never keep my discussions a secret from anyone! I, JACK ATLUS, do not have an indoor voice for that anyway! ‘tis the only thing that I, JACK ATLUS, do not possess!
    Ahahaha I'm laughing at this.

    The Akaba plan... Seems like a good plan, no doubt.

    I too wonder where Yuya left his D-Wheel.

    It is I, Melissa Claire!
    This always reminds me of "It is I, LeClerc!".

    Yuya: Ugh… Why is she here?
    I know, right?

    Shun, those are all fanart.
    Mood killer.

    Shun: Yeah, I know. It’s a very welcome change from all the brainwashed Ruri pics I had to go through back during the Doktor’s subplot… You sick bastards…
    This is just comical ahah

    Yuya: Ugh.., Fine, fine… (Picks up an Action Card and activates it without even looking at it) Action Magic: Lazy Cyclone. Now your floodgate cards are destroyed, or whatever.
    Faithful reproduction.

    Melissa (trapped inside one of Strave Venom’s flower-thingies):

    Eheh, not bad, not bad, Helix.

    Now, onto the final chapter!

    Reiji: Congratulations, Yuya, you passed the protest… Err, I mean, the pro test.
    Oh my god, I corrected this on the wiki, what a coincidence.

    And then they laughed it off, and everybody had a good time!
    We just need the credits now.

    Yuzu: Yuya…!

    Yuya: Yuzu!

    Yuzu: Yuya!

    Yuya: Yuzu!

    Yuzu: Yuya!
    Ahahahah this is ridiculously comical. So dumb aahahah

    Wait… I’m a Level 7 now? Why you do this to me, Yuri?!! ;-;
    I imagine SVFD's voice as something deep and with much throat. So this sounds very funny ahah

    Yuya: That makes even less sense! Wait… If Purplish Armageddon was supposed to be Zorc… Then that dragon it was riding, it was… Oh… Oh god…
    Ahahahohohoh yeah....

    Yuya: Like father, like son, huh?

    Gloria: … WHY ARE WE STILL HERE?!!
    So philosophical...

    And that's the end and couldn't have been better!
    What projects do you have now, Helix?

  5. #225
    Registered User HelixReactor's Avatar
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    Took ya long enough, Pendulum >:3

    Just kidding; I'm glad you liked them ^_^

    Future projects, huh? To the risk of quoting myself, well, we'll be going INTO ZA VRAINZU pretty soon :P

  6. #226
    Registered User HelixReactor's Avatar
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    And now, INTO ZA VRAI--yeah, yeah, I think you already get it by now.

    I hope y'all aren't suffering from severe withdrawal by the end of this month-long hiatus.

    It was about time I resume the script production, too. So how about we get a quick look at how VRAINS may end up? :P

    As it technically is a new series, I'd really like to have your opinion on this script, both on the content and the characters; since the writing style is pretty much the same as for the Arc-V scripts, it's important for me to know if I can keep things as they currently are, or if I need to change some stuff.

    In any case, I hope you'll enjoy the read ^_^


    Narrator: Here at Yu-Gi-Oh! Scripts Corp, we understand that our audience* does not like to have to read the same old jokes over and over again. As such, to prevent this new series from becoming just a rehash of the previous one, we have decided to implement an Arc-V recycled jokes counter, in order to keep ourselves in check [Arc-V Recycled Jokes Counter: 0]. Now, without further ado, let us begin our new show: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS....!

    Dennis: Featuring Dennis, from the Dennis May Cry series!! [Arc-V Recycled Jokes Counter: 0 -> ∞]

    Narrator: That’s… not a real thing…

    Dennis: It will be if you don’t let me in.

    Narrator: *Sigh* Whatever…

    (Episode starts in cyber-space, with the Knights of Hanoi using their monsters to destroy some virtual barrier that is protecting some virtual building)

    Knight #1: Are you sure it’s hiding here?

    Knight #2: According to our intel, it must be. Why else would this place be this heavily protected?

    Knight #1: I guess so…

    Knight #2: Our newest source of intel has never been wrong before. They would never give us any information if they weren’t absolutely certain of it before.

    Knight #1: Who are they anyway? You keep mentionning them, but you’re the only one to have ever been in contact with them.

    Knight #2: Truth be told, I’ve never really had any conversation with them. One day, they just started sending me messages that contain the data we need. Even if I try to contact them, I very rarely get an answer back. The point is, someone out there is supporting our cause and is doing everything in their power to help advance our plans.

    Knight #1: I guess so. Once we’re done with this, our plans will be finally complete.

    (Knight #1 checks the plan on his Duel Disk)

    1.Get the thing.

    Knight #1: Yes. Very soon, the Knights of Hanoi shall triumph.

    (The barrier gets shattered)

    Knight #2: It must be aware of our presence now, so let’s proceed with caution.

    Voice from the inside of the building: Huh. Took you long enough to break it. You sure like idly expose your identities, too. You sure you are some expert hackers?

    Knight #3: H-Huh? W-Who’s there?!

    Voice from the inside of the building: Interesting question. Perhaps your friend over there can answer that?

    Knight #2: D-Don’t tell me… You’re the one who…?!

    Voice from the inside of the building: Ever heard of stranger danger?

    Knight #1: L-Let’s retreat…! (Maniacally presses on his Duel Disk)

    Voice from the inside of the building: By the way, did you give a try to that software I sent you yesterday?

    Knight #2: That thing that was supposed to let us…

    Knight #1: The… The Log Out option...! It’s… It’s gone…!

    Voice from the inside of the building: Whoops. I must’ve screwed up somewhere.

    Knight #2: You monster…!

    Voice from the inside of the building: Says the cyber-terrorist.

    Knight #1: What are we gonna do now…?

    Voice from the inside of the building: Don’t be so sad. Just think of it as if you were in that other shitty show. You’re a big fan of it, right?

    Knight #2: What is he talking about?

    Knight #1 (Looking away): I… I have no idea…

    Voice from the inside of the building: From what I’ve been reading, you’re particularily fond of the second arc, right? Would you like to talk about it?

    Knight #1: S-Shut up!! D-Duel us!! If we defeat you, you’ll fix our Duel Disks for us!... Right?

    Voice from the inside of the building: Meh. I don’t feel like it. Besides, you aren’t exactly in a position to negociate.

    Knight #2: If you won’t Duel us, then we’ll…!

    Voice from the inside of the building: I’m bored. I’ll be going home now. See ya later.

    Knight #2: Don’t you dare-- *Sigh* He’s already gone…

    (Meanwhile, back in reality)

    Yusaku (Removing his VR helmet): Amateurs.

    Narrator: Born from the need of creating new rules just for the sake of creating new rules: Speed Duels! They’re totally not named after another set of rulings! As for what they mean, they’re just a slightly more boring version of the regular card game rules! To think that people would enjoy playing with just 5 cards in their Extra Decks… The future, everybody!!


    Narrator: The city of DenCity! More like the city of density, amirite? … *Sigh* What am I doing…? Why did I have to get this low…?

    (Episode resumes with Yusaku going to a hot dog stand)

    Kusanagi: So? How did it go?

    Yusaku: Boring.

    Kusanagi: Of course it was. But you mustn’t give up now.

    Yusaku: Why not? What happens if I let them get their hands on that thing? Why does anyone want to get their hands on that thing anyway?

    Kusanagi: Well…

    Yusaku: As far as I care, it’s just an annoying mascot character.

    Kusanagi: Maybe, but if anything that has been told about it is true, it possesses a very wide knowledge of--

    Yusaku: Unless it has amnesia. I bet it’s going to have amnesia.

    Kusanagi: … In any case, the Knights of Hanoi aren’t the only people you must be cautious about. The people of SOL have already made their moves. The Knights may very well just be a bunch of delinquents, but there’s no telling what SOL is capable of doing once they capture that AI.

    Yusaku: Meh. At least they look competent enough to know what they’re doing.

    Kusanagi: That’s not the point… You’re gonna need to also compromise SOL’s intel. I can help you out, if you want?

    Yusaku: Not interested.

    Kusanagi: I’m well aware of that… (Writes something on a blank card, and gives it to Yusaku). If you can talk to this person, I’m sure you’ll find a way to get into SOL.

    Yusaku (Reads the card): Oh. Her. Yeah, I doubt she’s going to be useful at all.

    Kusanagi: You won’t know unless you try. Isn’t that your motto?

    Yusaku: Screw that. That’s the show’s theme, not mine.

    Kusanagi: *Glares*

    Yusaku: Fine, fine…

    (Later that day, at DenCity High School)

    Yusaku (Approaching Aoi): Excuse me. Are you Aoi Zaizen?

    Aoi: Yes? What is it?

    Yusaku: Oh. It really is you… Something feels wrong here… (Looks at Aoi intensily)

    Aoi: Is… something wrong?

    Yusaku: Yeah… I’ve been told you’re supposed to be my sidekick, but… No… That can’t be it…

    Aoi: Why’s that? What’s the matter?

    Yusaku: Well… You’re… You’re flat.

    Aoi: … I’m sorry, what?

    Yusaku: Yeah. I mean… You’re in high school in a Yu-Gi-Oh! show, AND you’re supposed to be part of the main cast. So how come you… Surely there must be a mistake…

    Aoi: Excuse me?! I’ll have you know that I’m a Charisma Duelist!

    Yusaku: I see. I’m so sorry.

    Aoi: It’s okay. We all make mistakes.

    Yusaku: No, I mean, I’m so sorry you’ll have to end up as fodder for the big bad.

    Aoi: … … That’s it. Fujiki Yusaku! I challenge you to a Duel!

    Yusaku: No thanks. What does that have to do with anything anyway?

    Aoi: What’s that? Are you scared? Perhaps you’re afraid of accidentally revealing your secret identity?

    Yusaku: What secret identity?

    Aoi: You know what I’m talking about… Playmaker.

    Yusaku: Oh, that. Nah, I’m not keeping that a secret or anything. I mean, have you seen my Avatar? Of course people would recognize me.

    Aoi: Keeping your true identity so public on the Internet… That doesn’t sound very wise.

    Yusaku: Hey, I could’ve been that guy over there.


    Aoi: Fair enough… So, now that I know who you are and all…

    Yusaku: It must’ve taken you a while to connect the dots.

    Aoi: Are you going to Duel me, or what?

    Yusaku: Didn’t I just tell you I’m not interested?

    Aoi: So why did you come to me?

    Yusaku: Right, finally on topic. I need to know more about your brother, Akira Zaizen.

    Aoi (Blushing very heavily): O...Onii-chan…!

    Yusaku (Eyes rolling): Yeah… You know what? This was a mistake… I’ll just go google his name… It’ll be saner… For both our mental heaths’ sake…

    Aoi: Wait! (Looks down, and starts playing with her hair timidly) You know… I can tell you a lot my big brother...

    Yusaku: No, really… It’s okay… I don’t want to know…

    Aoi: But first… I want you to have a Duel against me…

    Yusaku: Are you even listening to me..?

    (Aoi activates her Duel Disk, transporting both herself and Yusaku into cyber-space)

    Yusaku: Oh. I didn’t know you could force someone into VRAINS. Huh. So that’s why there’s been a lot of children missing lately…

    Aoi: To think that I would get to meet the legendary Playmaker in person one day…

    Yusaku: Same goes to you… Uhm…?

    Aoi: Blue Angel.

    Yusaku: Yeah, whatever. You know, you have some pretty big wings… Are you trying to compensate for something?

    Aoi: … I’m starting to regret challenging you to a Duel…

    Yusaku: Trust me, I’m already regretting talking to you in the first place.

    (One painful experience later)

    Aoi: I can’t believe I lost… But… That was fun!

    Yusaku: No. No it wasn’t.

    Aoi: You really like Dueling, don’t you?

    Yusaku: Not really, no.

    Aoi: I really love Dueling, too. (Looks dramatically at the glitchy sky) Maybe one day, I’ll be able to tell him my true feelings… That I really like to play with cards… What do you think he’s going to feel about it?

    Yusaku: I don’t even know the guy, but I’m sure he’s already judging you every single moment of his miserable life.

    Aoi: So? What did you want to know about my big bro?

    Yusaku: Ah, finally…

    (A few hours later, somewhere in cyber-space, the Knights of Hanoi are examining a small cluster of data)

    Knight #1: So this is where it’s hiding? You’re sure of it this time, right?

    Knight #2: Yes, don’t worry. I hacked into SOL myself.

    Knight #1: S-SOL?! How could you do it so fast?! I thought their security was top-notch!

    Knight #2: It seems someone had already compromised their defenses before I even got there. There’s no doubt it’s Playmaker’s doing. I’m surprised we arrived here before him.

    Yusaku: Actually, I’ve been here for a few hours already. I thought you’d notice me, but I guess I don’t really stand out much.

    Knight #1: Y-You…! (Suddenly stops moving at all)

    Yusaku: Hmm? What’s up with your friend? Is he having a Vietnam flashback? [Shamelessly Easy Jokes Counter: 1 -> 2]

    Knight #2: What do you want from us, Playmaker?

    Yusaku: I’m sorry to say this, but apparently, I can’t let you keep the annoying mascot.

    Knight #2: We won’t let you have it without a fight!

    Yusaku: Sure. Bring it on.

    Knight #2: Oh, you won’t be fighting us. Your battle will be against our friend over here!

    (A giant Knight of Hanoi suddenly shows up)

    Yusaku: Okay. I admit I didn’t see that coming. Show me what you’ve got, buddy,

    Knight #3: (Standing menacingly)


    Knight #3: [Standing intensifies]


    Knight #3: Real Madrid vs. FC Barcelona!

    Yusaku: … Huh?

    Knight #3: Paris Saint-Germain vs. Olympique de Marseille!

    Yusaku: I don’t think I get it…

    Knight #3: Manchester United vs, Liverpool!

    Yusaku: Okay. What’s up with your spambot?

    Knight #2: I don’t know… It usually also spits out random pieces of news of dubious legitimity… Ugh… Forget it… We’re out of here… You can keep the AI...

    Yusaku: Wait. I’m not letting you go until you explain to me why you want that thing so much.

    Knight #2: The Knights of Hanoi were assembled 12 years ago, with the sole purpose of getting revenge against society. Back then, our founders suffered from a terrible humiliation. We believe that capturing the AI will help us advance our plans to get our revenge.

    Yusaku: I don’t really get it, but okay.

    Knight #2 (Falls on his knees and starts crying): Sirs Ashley, Bram, Carl, we have failed you…

    Yusaku: Right… I’ll be taking this with me, now…

    (As Yusaku touches the cluster of data, it begins reforming itself as the mysterious AI lifeform)

    AI: Gooooooooooooood morniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing everybodyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy~~~

    Yusaku: Yeah, I don’t have time for this. (Grabs the AI firmly and shoves it in his pocket)

    (Later that day, at SOL Techonology’s HQ, in Akira’s office)

    Akira’s assistant: Sir, we have received reports about the AI. It appears it has been captured.

    Akira: Is that so? To think that we were finally able to locate its position… I mustn’t have underestimated the Knights of Hanoi.

    Assistant: No sir, it wasn’t the Knights. The one currently in possession of the AI is the hacker known as Playmaker.

    Akira: Playmaker, huh? If he’s working alone, then the AI will most likely always be on him. Very well then. We’ll begin our operations to take it back tomorrow.

    Assistant: Very well, sir.

    Akira (Dramatically looking at the window in his office that gives a view of the entire city): After that, we’ll finally be able to begin our true plans. Those naive citizens must be thinking that all our company does is… What was our cover again?

    Assistant: *Shrugs*

    Akira: Eh. It doesn’t matter. The point is, SOL doesn’t just stand for… What was it supposed to be standing for again?

    Assistant: *Shrugs*

    Akira: It doesn’t matter either. The point is, the true meaning of SOL is… (Dramatic close-up) Seeking Other Lifeform.

    (Evil laughters)

    (End of the episode)

    *So… Pendulum, and… Pendulum, I guess.



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